Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,540

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Just shared via X:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Going viral on TikTok:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Trending via Slack:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Going viral on Instagram:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Windmill? Big fan.

Funny sweetheart quotes

Funny sweetheart quotes bring a burst of laughter and love into any relationship 💕😂 Whether you’re teasing your boo or sharing a cheeky moment, these witty lines add sparkle and smiles 😘✨ Perfect for texting, captions, or just brightening the day, they prove love doesn’t always have to be serious—sometimes, it’s downright hilarious! Ready to giggle and swoon at the same time? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to say I adore you! 😍🤣

New funny sweetheart quotes 👇

All funny sweetheart quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Discord this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

70 shares on Slack this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you a software update, because not now!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,648

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Spotted on Messenger:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Seen just now on X:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Spotted on Discord:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

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