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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Making waves on Reddit:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Seen just now on Slack:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Making waves on Twitch:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Making waves on Facebook:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Funny tanning bed quotes

Funny tanning bed quotes bring the perfect glow-up to your tanning sessions 🌞😄 Whether you’re a sun seeker or just love a little lighthearted fun while you bronze, these witty sayings will have you laughing through every golden minute 😂✨ Get ready to shine bright and smile even brighter with some cheeky tanning humor! 🕶️🌴 #GlowAndGiggle

New funny tanning bed quotes 👇

All funny tanning bed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WeChat this month:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Seen just now on Discord:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Making waves on Reddit:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Live now on X:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Live now on Telegram:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Just landed via Threads:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Just landed via Telegram:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

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