Commentary:
"Maybe just post a selfie with the caption 'I prefer my gators on a handbag, not on a menu.' 🐊📸 #BewareOfTheGators"
258 Funny tell quotes
I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.
Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet missed that memo! 💸😂
I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.
Commentary:
"Oh, the anticipation of a mother's kitchen scrutiny! 🤣🍴 It's like a rite of passage, right? Who else is eagerly awaiting the inevitable rearrangement of kitchen cupboards and drawers? 🙋♂️ #MomKnowsBest #KitchenMakeover"
I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
Commentary:
"Parenting wisdom at its finest! 🤣👪 Reassigning blame like a pro – now that's a life skill worth mastering! 🙌 #ParentingGoals"
Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.
Commentary:
Oh, the classic tale of internal organ rebellion! 🤣 It's like your body's playing a game of charades, but with a painful twist! 🤕 Don't worry, it's probably just your organs throwing a little party in there without inviting you. 🎉 Just remind them who's the boss with some self-care and a good laugh! 😅
I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.
Commentary:
"Who needs commas when you've got attitude and sass like that? 💁♀️ Breathing is overrated anyways, just wing it like the grown adult you are! 😂 #NoCommasNoProblem"
When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”
Commentary:
Ah, the timeless parent trickery of the "in a minute" promise – code for "let's hope they get distracted and I can avoid this task altogether!" 🕒🧒🏼👧🏻 Parenting 101: When in doubt, distract and evade! 😉🤷🏻♂️ #ParentingStruggles #MasterOfDistraction
Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.
Commentary:
"Life lesson of the day: prioritize your chewing over potential murder alerts. 🍴🔪 #SafetyFirst #HungryNotDead"
If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.
Commentary:
"Imagine being haunted by your own ghostly reminder to drink water 💧! That's some next-level self-care even in the afterlife 👻. College me could definitely use a spectral nudge towards hydration…and maybe a few less all-nighters too! 😂 #GhostGoals"
I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of never judging a book by its cover…unless we're talking about people, then it's apparently a free-for-all based on their faces! 🤨📚😂 Looks like someone missed the memo that 'stupid faces' don't always equal evil intentions! 😉"