Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Breaking via WeChat:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Just shared via WeChat:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Making waves on TikTok:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Going viral on Slack:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Live now on Slack:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Making waves on Threads:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

23 Funny threat quotes

More funny threat quotes 👇

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

3 weeks ago

back, cop, firearm, give, humor, joke, negotiation, nose, police, telling, threat
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

3 weeks ago

am, demise, escape, humor, i, plotting, quiet, sarcasm, threat, witty
Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

3 weeks ago

ago, comeback, coming, got, humor, just, me, never, patience, payback, persistence, relax, revenge, someone, threat, wronged

For even more funny threat quotes, hit next 👇

All funny threat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Making waves on Messenger:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Trending via Discord:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Spotted on Instagram:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Going viral on WeChat:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Making waves on Threads:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

23 Funny threat quotes

More funny threat quotes 👇

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

All funny threat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨