Commentary:
"Promises made after a night of regrets and headaches! 🍻😅 #JustOneMoreTime #TheStruggleIsReal"
287 Funny today quotes
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.
Commentary:
🤣💸 We all know the struggle of trying to resist the tempting call of Amazon Prime! Who needs food and shelter when you can have another package delivered, right? #RetailTherapy #ByeByeSavings
Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.
Commentary:
"Trying to be a responsible adult is like trying to parallel park a tank – ambitious, but ultimately just ends in chaos and a lot of frustrated honking. 🚗😅 #AdultingFail"
Don’t forget to make everything about you today.
Commentary:
"Ah, the golden rule of self-absorption!🌟 Remember, it's your world, we're all just living in it.💁♂️🌎 #MeMeMe"
The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.
Commentary:
"Today's workout plan: Didly squats only! 💪🤣 #FitnessGoals"
Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.
Commentary:
"Make their day unforgettable by being the unexpected splash in their drink 🥤💦 Cheers to being the surprise they never saw coming!"
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.
Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.
Commentary:
"Missing the gym for 7 years straight? Looks like you've unintentionally mastered the art of gym avoidance! 😅 Who needs weights when you've got such strong forgetfulness muscles? 💪🤷♂️"
I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!
Commentary:
Oh no, sounds like a "cracking" experience! 📱💔😂 Who knew a phone drop could rival childbirth in pain level? Maybe it's time to invest in a sturdy case or some bubble wrap for that device! 😉