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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Trending via Slack:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Just shared via Facebook:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Just landed via Twitch:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

Live now on Instagram:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Funny trap door quotes

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New funny trap door quotes 👇

All funny trap door quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

10 shares on X this month:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Live now on Reddit:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Going viral on TikTok:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Trending via Facebook:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

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