Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Going viral on Reddit:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Going viral on WeChat:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Breaking via Instagram:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Just shared via Facebook:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Funny unannounced quotes

Funny unannounced quotes pop up out of nowhere, catching you off guard with a burst of laughter 😂🎉! These unexpected gems turn ordinary moments into hilarious memories, perfect for sharing and brightening anyone’s day 🌟😄. Ready to sprinkle some spontaneous humor into your feed? Let’s dive into the world of witty surprises that keep the fun rolling nonstop! 🚀✨

New funny unannounced quotes 👇

All funny unannounced quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Discord this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

42 shares on X this month:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is just goth water.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Freshly posted on X:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Live now on TikTok:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Live now on Snapchat:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Going viral on Instagram:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

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