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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

31 minutes ago

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Just landed via Twitch:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Shared recently on X:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Spotted on Facebook:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Reported on Telegram:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Just shared via Telegram:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Home » Funny Uselessness Quotes

Funny uselessness quotes

New funny uselessness quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Commentary:
Trying to use an umbrella as a parachute? Better hope for a soft landing on a cloud, or maybe some conveniently placed cartoon bushes! ☂️🤣🪂
2 months ago
Share →: Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, be too sour to squeeze! 🍋😜"

For even more funny uselessness quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny uselessness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

31 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Going viral on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Just shared via Twitch:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Breaking via Twitch:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Going viral on Threads:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

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