Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Just landed via Threads:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Trending via Pinterest:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Just landed via Facebook:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Shared recently on Telegram:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Just shared via TikTok:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Funny uselessness quotes

Funny uselessness quotes bring a burst of laughter to life’s little absurd moments 😂✨ They celebrate the art of doing nothing productive while still feeling strangely accomplished 🤪 Whether you’re procrastinating or just need a smile, these witty gems remind us that sometimes being delightfully useless is the best kind of genius 💡🎉 Ready to embrace the silly side of life? Let the fun begin! 🎈😄

New funny uselessness quotes 👇

All funny uselessness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

72 shares on X this month:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

17 shares on YouTube this month:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Just shared via Reddit:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Spotted on WeChat:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Spotted on X:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Trending via TikTok:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

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