Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Making waves on Discord:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Just landed via Twitch:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Going viral on WeChat:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Making waves on Telegram:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Just shared via Snapchat:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Spotted on Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Trending via Threads:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Going bananas on Discord:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Seen just now on Threads:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

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