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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Going viral on Telegram:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Spotted on Instagram:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Going viral on Messenger:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Spotted on Telegram:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Shared recently on Slack:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Spotted on Messenger:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Spotted on Instagram:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Funny Yoda quotes

Funny Yoda quotes bring a galaxy of laughter 🌌😄 with the wise Jedi Master’s quirky twists on life and the Force. Whether you’re a Star Wars fan or just need a dose of humor with a side of wisdom, these playful sayings will lift your spirits and make you smile brighter than a lightsaber ⚔️✨. Ready to laugh like a little green master? Let the chuckles begin! 😂🛸

New funny Yoda quotes 👇

All funny Yoda quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

49 shares on Facebook this month:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Spotted on Instagram:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Trending via Discord:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Breaking via YouTube:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Trending via Slack:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Just shared via WeChat:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just landed via Slack:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

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