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Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Trending via Twitch:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Making waves on TikTok:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Spotted on Slack:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Trending via WeChat:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Just shared via Slack:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Making waves on Discord:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Home » Funny Zero Quotes » Page 3

22 Funny zero quotes

More funny zero quotes 👇

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

0

5 months ago

ask, communication, conversation, dating, humor, irony, men, met, never, personality, question, questions, relationship, say, yourself, zero
Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

0

5 months ago

arab, Arab perfume, arrival, chill, cultural, cultural reference, exaggeration, fragrance, humor, knows, perfume, reference, scent, street, zero

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Friends with consequences.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Going viral on Facebook:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Going bananas on Discord:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Just landed via Slack:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Just landed via WeChat:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

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Activity Log ✨

22 Funny zero quotes

More funny zero quotes 👇

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

All funny zero quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨