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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,493

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Live now on X:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Live now on Discord:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Just shared via YouTube:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just landed via Slack:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Live now on Slack:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Funny zest quotes

Funny zest quotes bring a splash of citrusy humor 🍋 to brighten your day and add a twist of laughter 😂 to life’s little moments. Whether you’re feeling a bit sour or just need a zesty pick-me-up 🌟, these witty lines will peel away the blues and juice up your mood 🍊. Get ready to chuckle and savor the tangy side of humor! 🎉

New funny zest quotes 👇

All funny zest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

42 shares on Discord this month:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

66 shares on Slack this month:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

66 shares on X this month:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

50 shares on Threads this month:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Live now on Threads:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Shared recently on X:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

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