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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Breaking via X:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Spotted on YouTube:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Shared recently on Discord:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Funny zest quotes

Funny zest quotes bring a splash of citrusy humor 🍋 to brighten your day and add a twist of laughter 😂 to life’s little moments. Whether you’re feeling a bit sour or just need a zesty pick-me-up 🌟, these witty lines will peel away the blues and juice up your mood 🍊. Get ready to chuckle and savor the tangy side of humor! 🎉

New funny zest quotes 👇

All funny zest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix & by yourself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Trending via Instagram:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Just shared via Threads:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Making waves on Discord:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Seen just now on Discord:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Making waves on Slack:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

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