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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,859

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Shared recently on Slack:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Making waves on Messenger:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Just shared via Slack:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Just shared via Messenger:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Well, if kindness doesn't end them, maybe your cooking will! 😂🍽️❤️

best, communication, dying, everyone, humor, i, interaction, irony, kill, kindness, personality, sarcasm, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

1 month ago
adventure, explain, explanation, gap, humor, i, interview, job, job interview, missing, national, national park, park, resume
Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

1 month ago
fortune, humor, joke, May, me, money, month, next, wish
Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

1 month ago
am, day, humor, i, identity, just, laziness, sleepy
Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

1 month ago
actually, affection, else, humor, i, love, me, meant, realization, relationship, self, self-love, someone, want
Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

4 months ago
ad, advertisement, before, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, humor, online, online video, safety, seems, short, short video, tutorial, video, YouTube
Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

5 months ago
andrew, Andrew Tate, Axe, Axe body spray, body, celebrity, consciousness, humor, personification, satire, scent, spray, tate

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Just landed via Threads:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

My body looks like I have a great personality.

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

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I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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