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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Going bananas on Slack:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Making waves on Facebook:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Seen just now on Discord:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Making waves on TikTok:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

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I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.
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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's in for a rollercoaster ride through time! 🕰️⏰ Get ready for unexpected plot twists and hilarious shenanigans in the blink of an eye! Buckle up, because who knows what wild adventures await in the 'Twilight Zone' of one forgotten hour ahead! ⏳😄 #TimeTravelAntics"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Telegram this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

83 shares on Discord this month:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,320

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Trending via Pinterest:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Seen just now on YouTube:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

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