Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.