Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Just shared via WeChat:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Just landed via Snapchat:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Breaking via WeChat:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect foundation for a mutually questionable relationship! 😂💔👀

am, authenticity, bullshit, hate, honesty, humor, i, just, love, me, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, through, trust, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

0

2 months ago

childhood, everything, humor, lick, mess, ownership, play, toddler
If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

0

2 months ago

circle, doubt, friendship, humor, relationships, rhombus, suspicion, triangle, trust
Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

0

3 months ago

50s, age, aging, ailment, condition, health, humor, medical, medical condition, middle, middle age, mysterious, mysterious ailment, welcome
Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

0

2 months ago

change, diet, diet joke, fat, food, food humor, food transformation, humor, joke, rolls, seasonal, seasonal change, spring, spring rolls, transformation, wait, weight, weight joke, winter, winter fat
My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

0

2 months ago

being, comedy, exhausted, exhaustion, family, fatigue, favorite, humor, live, losing, parenting, struggle, time, will to live
It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

0

6 months ago

around, day, evening, feel, lazy, lazy day, management, procrastination, regret, sad, sadness, Sunday, time, time management, waste, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Making waves on Slack:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Spreading quickly via X:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Trending via Telegram:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Making waves on YouTube:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Trending via Discord:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨