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Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

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Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

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I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

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Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

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I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

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The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.