Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,980

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Just landed via YouTube:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Going viral on Reddit:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Just landed via Discord:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like they've initiated a game of "Guess the Context!" 🤔📱

communication, conversation, etiquette, humor, i, love, media, message, rest, sarcasm, social, social media, solve, someone, texting, texting etiquette, texts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

0

2 months ago

dead, great, humor, irony, man, never, obituary, pleasure, read, sarcasm, wish
I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

0

2 months ago

found, God, hide, humor, irony, spirituality, turn
The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

0

2 months ago

furniture, guy, having, home, IKEA, problems
Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

0

2 weeks ago

bro, calling, friend, friend zone, humor, know, relationship, slang, sure, trench, women, zone
Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, elephant, humor, metaphor, right, room, situation, us
When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

0

3 months ago

causing, choice, choices, diet, health, humor, lifestyle, mad, stomach, stomachache, sure, unhealthy, unhealthy lifestyle, upset, upset stomach

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear Santa, Money!

31 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

77 shares on Slack this month:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Breaking via TikTok:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Going viral on WeChat:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Spotted on TikTok:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨