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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Seen just now on Telegram:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Just landed via X:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Breaking via YouTube:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Live now on X:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Live now on YouTube:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

2 months ago

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communication, conversation, etiquette, humor, i, love, media, message, rest, sarcasm, social, social media, solve, someone, texting, texting etiquette, texts

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37 shares on X this month:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

38 shares on YouTube this month:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Making waves on Messenger:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Just shared via Discord:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Just landed via Reddit:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

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Activity Log ✨

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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