Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Making waves on Messenger:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Seen just now on Threads:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Trending via Instagram:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Trending via YouTube:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on TikTok:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, money can't buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? 😂💸🌊"

buy, commentary, happiness, having, humor, i, irony, key, money, people, poor, satire, social, social commentary, telling, think, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

0

2 months ago

dating, fun, humor, marriage, marry, reason, relationship, secret, secret reason, third
The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, me, message, need, next, only, reply, social, social interaction, someone, stress, talk, text, text message, texts, time, yes
I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

0

2 months ago

humor, idiot, loyal, loyalty, relationship, stage, talking, talking stage, type
“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

0

2 months ago

center, humor, life, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-centered
Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

0

2 months ago

always, convenience, efficiency, fear, free, humor, much, people, quick, retail, scared, self-checkout, shopping, something, technology
Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

0

2 months ago

burn, decide, decision, decision making, dinner, food, humor, i, making, meal, meal planning, order, pizza, planning, procrastination, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

72 shares on X this month:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Making waves on Reddit:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Just landed via Discord:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Trending via Discord:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨