Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Shared recently on Reddit:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Going viral on Instagram:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Breaking via Threads:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Just shared via TikTok:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Live now on Twitch:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew ibuprofen would become the new party favor? 🎉🥳🤕

age, aging, behavior, bottle, enough, everyone, getting, humor, i, ibuprofen, medicine, painkiller, pull, rude, rude behavior, sharing, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

83 shares on Slack this month:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

67 shares on X this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Trending via Slack:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Trending via Twitch:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨