It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

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In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

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No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

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Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

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Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

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Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

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“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

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To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

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80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

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I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

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If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.