Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Just shared via Instagram:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Spotted on Slack:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Just landed via WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Breaking via Threads:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about summer photography, emphasizing humor and self-confidence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Channeling my inner supermodel because clearly, the camera needs its daily dose of fabulosity! 😂📸☀️ #PosingPro"

activity, everyone, fun, fun activity, good, important, me, media, photography, photos, pictures, self-image, selfie, social, social media, summer, vanity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

1 month ago

bed, bedtime, early, fresh, humor, i, morning, motivation, parallel, parallel universe, sleep, universe, unstoppable, wake, wake up
She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

1 month ago

appliance, asked, cooking, date, humor, i, joke, kitchen, magic, maker, sandwich, where
May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

4 weeks ago

affection, cat, curl, curl up, humor, i, lap, over, please, request
Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

4 weeks ago

hate, honesty, humor, i, insult, liar, only, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, thing
Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

4 weeks ago

after, airport, crazy, eat, eating, flight, food, funny realization, humor, just, realization, revelation, too, travel, travel humor
“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

1 month ago

acting, conversation, humor, misunderstanding, weird

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Threads this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Just shared via Twitch:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Going viral on Twitch:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Just shared via Discord:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Spotted on Discord:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Keep the laugh going 😂

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨