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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,023

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Making waves on Slack:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Just shared via YouTube:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Spotted on Discord:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Going viral on Reddit:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Breaking via TikTok:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

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It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.
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Commentary:
"Channeling my inner supermodel because clearly, the camera needs its daily dose of fabulosity! 😂📸☀️ #PosingPro"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on X this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

28 shares on X this month:

I disagree with my politics.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

40 shares on X this month:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Googling symptoms until you cry.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,762

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Just shared via Reddit:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Going viral on Twitch:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Spreading quickly via X:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

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