Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,884

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Live now on X:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Just shared via Slack:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

4 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the season of "Ctrl+C Ctrl+Z" communication has begun! 🏝️📉✉️😅

beautiful, Christmas, complete, email, emails, getting, give, holiday, holiday season, humor, just, people, procrastination, season, sentence, time, work, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

1 month ago

alcohol, bad, bad choice, better, choice, decision, decision making, decisions, drink, drink humor, drunk, drunk decision, humor, i, making, ones, self-deprecation, sober, sober decision, sure
I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

3 months ago

am, cake, eat, else, food, hell, humor, i, idiom, misunderstanding, phrase, understand
Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

3 months ago

bat, bats, breakup, fear, humor, i, joke, million, reaction, relationship, sarcasm, second
Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

1 month ago

before, brag, confidence, cool, humor, i, self-deprecation, unhinged
I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

1 month ago

acceptance, body, body image, confidence, dress, fat, humor, i, image, self, self-acceptance, summer, think, want, well
Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

1 month ago

50s, age, age humor, aging, humor, joke, life, life stage, middle, middle age, new, pain, stage, welcome

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Making waves on Messenger:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Going viral on Facebook:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Spreading quickly via X:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Trending via Discord:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Going bananas on Discord:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏