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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Spotted on Reddit:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Just landed via Messenger:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Spotted on Reddit:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Just shared via Threads:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like my new bedtime routine is now sponsored by the School of Hard Knocks 😂💤📈

advice, back, bedtime, before, breaks, career, dating, ex, fix, going, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, recommend, relationship, sleep, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

1 month ago
2023, April, April Fool’s, cancel, current, current events, day, events, fool’s, humor, just, prank, reality, right, should, top, year
I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

1 month ago
Bigfoot, hiding, human, humans, humor, i, nature, right, solitude, stay, think
Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

1 month ago
change, changing, funny observation, humor, layout, observation, rap, songs, stores
When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

1 month ago
amusing, comedy, emotional, emotional support, form, friends, friendship, humor, humorist, lighthearted, sad, sadness, social, support
The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

1 month ago
28, 28 Days, apocalypse, Britain, comedy, days, exist, handle, hilarious, humor, idea, independence, international, own, rest, satire, saw, series, world, zombie
I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

2 months ago
asking, curtain, down to earth, Earth, expectations, humor, i, intimacy, just, me, over, relationship, shower, shower curtain, someone, touch, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Making waves on Slack:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Going bananas on Messenger:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Just landed via Facebook:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

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“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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