Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,945

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Trending via WeChat:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Spotted on TikTok:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Live now on Instagram:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I was 7, walking it off was considered a life-saving procedure 😂👍 #ResilienceSkills

childhood, days, died, humor, i, injury, kids, me, mom, once, parenting, pretty, resilience, soft, sure, toughness, walk, walk it off

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

0

2 months ago

awareness, health, humor, i, know, mad, madness, mental, mental health, myself, self, self-awareness, self-talk, start, talk, talking, talking to myself
I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, frustration, hate, humor, i, language, phone, spell, spelling, texting, trying, typo, word
If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

0

2 months ago

availability, ever, friendship, here, humor, joke, need, nothing, support
Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

0

3 weeks ago

addicted, addiction, day, eating, food, food habit, habit, humor, meal, reptile
Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

0

2 months ago

bible, bio, good, goodness, having, humor, morality, person, personality, satire, verse
What an embarrassing time to be alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, commentary, embarrassing, existential, humor, irony, society, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

10 shares on Discord this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

97 shares on X this month:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Just landed via X:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Trending via Twitch:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Just landed via Twitch:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Live now on Threads:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Going viral on Slack:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨