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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Spotted on TikTok:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Going viral on Threads:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Live now on Pinterest:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Going viral on Instagram:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Going viral on Reddit:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of marital amnesia! 😅💍 How to win at marriage: repeat, rinse, and repeat again! 🎶🗣️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

0

5 months ago

allowed, fine, fine print, Friday, grumpy, humor, mood, print, rule, somewhere, weekend
Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

0

2 months ago

delicious, fly, frog, funny tweet, humor, i, media, much, randomness, social, social media, sucks, tweet, Tweets, Twitter, wait, waiting
If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

0

2 months ago

adventure, backpacking, corduroy, ever, fire, humor, outdoor, pants, start, sure, wear, wilderness
Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, attitude, era, gentle, humor, me, nostalgia, old fashioned, personality, vintage
Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

0

2 months ago

anyone, bored, boredom, emotional, emotional manipulation, emotionally, hell, humor, interaction, manipulate, manipulation, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want
I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

0

2 months ago

away, boundary, conversation, humor, i, keep, kids, lot, me, parenting, people, swear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Facebook this month:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

33 shares on X this month:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Just landed via Discord:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Breaking via Slack:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Making waves on Messenger:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Trending via TikTok:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨