Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,892

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Going viral on Discord:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Going viral on X:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Linda is my new imaginary marriage counselor! 😂💍🤷‍♂️

dream, excuse, humor, i, jealousy, just, mad, marriage, me, relationship, say, second, secret, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

0

3 months ago

beauty, beauty pageant, Earth, every, humor, joke, miss, Miss Universe, pageant, space, universe, winner
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole
My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

0

2 months ago

American, chicken nuggets, critique, education, food, humor, i, nuggets, opinion, order, piece, system, ten, ten piece
I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

0

2 months ago

am, funnier, humor, i, joke, marriage, marry, me, relationship, self-confidence, someone, wit
To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

0

2 months ago

dance, food, fun, Himalayan, humor, parody, salt, sea, sea salt, song, tune
Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

0

2 months ago

before, day, fashion, humor, laziness, Monday, outfit, same, unnoticed, wear, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

30 shares on Threads this month:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

28 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

74 shares on X this month:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Trending via Telegram:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Going viral on YouTube:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Spotted on Messenger:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Shared recently on Discord:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Trending via Instagram:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Spotted on Telegram:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨