Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Just landed via Reddit:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Going viral on X:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Going bananas on Slack:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about parenting, highlighting the struggle to fake healthy eating in front of kids.

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Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'broccoli deception'—Oscar-worthy performances every meal! 🍔🥦😂"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

3 weeks ago

favorite, humor, music, pirate, pun, song, tiger
Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

3 weeks ago

barking, comment, comments, girl, girls, i, interaction, man, media, playful, relationship, social, social media, stuff, want, weird
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

3 weeks ago

change, code, humor, i, irony, love, me, programming, source, technology, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking, world
Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

1 week ago

alone, alone time, humor, never, opinion, opinions, peace, quiet, solitude, time, unsolicited
I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

3 weeks ago

day, eating, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, love, napping, rest, serving, serving size, size, snack, times, wish
It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

1 week ago

alone, Friday, frustration, humor, i, independence, introvert, leave, me, please, ran, small, small talk, solitude, talk, Tuesday

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

48 shares on Slack this month:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

85 shares on Discord this month:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

95 shares on Threads this month:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Shared recently on Threads:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Live now on Telegram:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Making waves on Discord:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨