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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,030

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Just landed via TikTok:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Breaking via X:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Spotted on Threads:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Just landed via Discord:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Going viral on X:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Boldly going where no 'Trekkie' has gone before… straight into the wrong fandom 🚀🌌😂

call, couple, culture, fandom, geek, humor, joke, me, movie, movie reference, only, parody, people, pop, pop culture, reference, sci-fi, seen, star, Star Wars, times, Trekkie, wars

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

0

2 months ago

born, capitalism, choices, disappointment, favorite, historical, historical reference, humor, i, irony, king, late, life, life choices, mistress, reference, stage, sun, Sun King, Versailles
Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

0

2 months ago

activity, asleep, eat, eating, humor, loss, napping, relaxation, sleep, weight, weight loss
Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

0

2 months ago

challenge, chocolate, eating, hardest, humor, indulgence, starting, stopping, sweets
New year update: losing everything but weight.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, fitness, humor, losing, new, new year, resolution, update, weight, year
I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

0

2 months ago

alien, call, culture, humor, humorist, i, joke, movie, movie joke, parody, pop, pop culture, sci-fi, term, xenomorph
One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

0

2 months ago

act, drunk, even, fool, humor, i, me, need, personality, spontaneity, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

46 shares on Discord this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

68 shares on Slack this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Seen just now on YouTube:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Trending via YouTube:

I am thick and tired.

Making waves on Facebook:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Going viral on Snapchat:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

New year update: losing everything but weight.

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨