Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Spotted on X:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Just landed via Slack:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Going bananas on Threads:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Going viral on Slack:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Boldly going where no 'Trekkie' has gone before… straight into the wrong fandom 🚀🌌😂

call, couple, culture, fandom, geek, humor, joke, me, movie, movie reference, only, parody, people, pop, pop culture, reference, sci-fi, seen, star, Star Wars, times, Trekkie, wars

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Slack this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

80 shares on Discord this month:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

50 shares on YouTube this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

21 shares on X this month:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Making waves on WeChat:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Spotted on X:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Breaking via Threads:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Keep the laugh going 😂

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨