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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Just landed via Instagram:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Spotted on X:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Making waves on Instagram:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Making waves on Reddit:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about car stickers showing confidence and wit behind the wheel.

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Commentary:
Watch out, world, there's a pro in the car seat! 👶🚗😂

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

89 shares on Slack this month:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

18 shares on Threads this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

53 shares on X this month:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Spotted on YouTube:

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Just shared via WeChat:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Going viral on Facebook:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Shared recently on Slack:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Just shared via X:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Just landed via Slack:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Live now on LinkedIn:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Making waves on Threads:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

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Activity Log ✨

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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