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Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Going viral on WeChat:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Spotted on Threads:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Going viral on Twitch:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Going viral on Messenger:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Seen just now on Threads:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Going viral on Messenger:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about car stickers showing confidence and wit behind the wheel.

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Commentary:
Watch out, world, there's a pro in the car seat! 👶🚗😂

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel

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62 shares on X this month:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Just landed via Slack:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Making waves on Twitch:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Just shared via X:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Just landed via Slack:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

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Activity Log ✨

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨