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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Just landed via Discord:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Just shared via Telegram:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Just landed via Telegram:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Just landed via Threads:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about floral colors and day drinking plans, playful and witty.

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Commentary:
"Red, blue, and way too true! 🍷😅 Cheers to testing the limits of 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere!' 🕒🍻"

activity, alcohol, blue, casual, day, drink, drinking, excessive, got, humor, humor quote, i, me, recreational, red, roses, social, social activity, thinking, time

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42 shares on WeChat this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Just landed via WeChat:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Trending via TikTok:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Just shared via YouTube:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Just landed via Slack:

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Shared recently on Slack:

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

Just shared via Messenger:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Trending via Discord:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Keep the laugh going 😂

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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