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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,258

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Breaking via Twitch:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Going bananas on Messenger:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Spotted on Instagram:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew Jack Skellington's real fear was holiday shopping season 😂🎃🎄

1st, 24th, before, calendar, Christmas, date, December, December 24th, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, January, January 1st, just, means, new, new year, nightmare, season, The Nightmare Before Christmas, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

2 months ago

back, end, holiday, humor, irony, pardon, statistic, system, Thanksgiving, turkey
That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

2 months ago

30, another, break, feeling, lunch, odd, over, still, work, year’s
Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

4 months ago

15, 15 minutes, car, car insurance, conversation, discount, humor, insurance, joke, minutes, missionary, save, saving, us
It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

3 months ago

eating, expand, food, friendship, fun, humor, important, life, people, relationship, sharing, snack, social, social life, taste
They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

2 months ago

actually, check, different, every, humor, irony, joke, nature, observation, say, snowflake, someone
I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

2 months ago

blank, fitness, forgetfulness, gym, humor, i, irony, just, memory, name, saying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

63 shares on X this month:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

87 shares on Slack this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Just landed via WeChat:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Spotted on WeChat:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Making waves on YouTube:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨