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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Spotted on X:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to end up in the exclusive club of one! 🏆🙃🚪

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

1 month ago
advice, caution, humor, kids, nicely, notice, parenting, playing, thing, together, worst
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

2 months ago
aging, excuse, experience, growing, growing up, humor, life, think, young, youth
Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

5 months ago
comfort, humor, invitation, invite, me, nowhere, party, seating, sit
I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

1 month ago
am, America, depression, economy, enter, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, relate, too
By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

1 month ago
addiction, cartoon, food, humor, man, Popeye, rehab, sailor, spinach, time
Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

1 month ago
advice, back, banana, drink, funny advice, humor, hydration, self-care, water

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Just landed via Instagram:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Just shared via Discord:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Spotted on Twitch:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

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Activity Log ✨

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

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The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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