Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Spotted on Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Seen just now on Slack:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Live now on WhatsApp:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Trending via YouTube:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the calendar switches to late August, my shorts start whispering their goodbye speeches. 🍂😢👖

August, emotion, explain, feeling, grief, i, kind, late, late August, nostalgia, sadness, seasonal, seasonal feeling, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

0

2 months ago

brag, compliment, cooking, dinner, humor, humor quote, i, interesting, just, kitchen, marriage, relationship, sarcasm, wife
When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

0

2 months ago

am, going, humor, i, me, morning, noon, people, problem, problem solver, regret, sarcasm, self-care, sleep, solver, tell
There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

0

2 months ago

family, humor, movie, parents, rating, should, special, special system, system, uncomfortable, watch
I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, button, computer, convenience, every, humor, i, internet, irony, just, keep, love, me, signed, signed in, straight, website
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, humor, just, life, moment, separation, sery, snack, snacks
The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

0

2 months ago

advice, birthday, COVID-19, hand, hand wash, hands, health, health rule, humor, i, joke, lesson, only, pandemic, quirky, quirky advice, remember, rule, social, social joke, wash

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

74 shares on X this month:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

16 shares on Slack this month:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

57 shares on Threads this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

13 shares on X this month:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

86 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Spotted on Threads:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Trending via Instagram:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Breaking via Facebook:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Spotted on Telegram:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Trending via WeChat:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Spotted on Instagram:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨