This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

81 shares on Threads this month:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.