Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.