Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Just shared via X:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Breaking via Twitch:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Just landed via Reddit:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Breaking via Discord:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Seen just now on Threads:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Level up your heist skills: become a Time Bandit! 🚽⏰🤣"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

57 shares on X this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

56 shares on Threads this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

35 shares on Threads this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

58 shares on Discord this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

50 shades of single.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

God saw you do that.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Spotted on WeChat:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Just shared via Telegram:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Live now on YouTube:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Just landed via Discord:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Freshly posted on X:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴