Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Spotted on Slack:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Shared recently on X:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Going viral on Facebook:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Live now on Snapchat:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nothing like a surprise performance review from some unexpected "consultants"! 😂🔍💼

beat, beating, broke, everywhere, found, harder, home, humor, joke, laziness, me, motivation, nothing, robbery, search, telling, thief, work, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

0

2 months ago

apparently, appear, clutter, cupboard, extra, humor, kitchen, leave, lid, lids, nowhere, organization, storage, too, Tupperware
Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

0

2 months ago

feel, humor, joke, math, me, most, numb, number, pun, puns, wordplay
I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

0

2 months ago

anyone, humor, i, love, miss, money, relaxation, sleep, sleeping, spend
May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, humor, kick, morning, motivation, reality, wake up
My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

0

2 months ago

budget, celebration, everyone, firework, happy, humor, independence, july, neighbor, sarcasm, unemployed, wish
For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

0

2 months ago

adventure, another, future, humor, i, planet, ticket, travel, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Threads this month:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

45 shares on TikTok this month:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Seen just now on Threads:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Going viral on Threads:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Just shared via Facebook:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Live now on Discord:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Live now on Messenger:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Spotted on Facebook:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Just shared via Twitch:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨