Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,982

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Going viral on Facebook:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Just shared via Discord:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Going viral on WeChat:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Just landed via Messenger:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂 "Next time my barista tells me to 'enjoy the next 24 hours,' I'm ordering my coffee with a side of panic! ☕😅🚨"

day, enjoy, expression, greeting, hours, humor, language, next, nice, phrase, problem, say, saying, sounds, threat, threatening, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

0

2 months ago

avoiding, dating, humor, interaction, life, naked, new, people, relationships, seen, social, social interaction, trying
Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

0

2 months ago

back, cat, conversation, date, flirt, fun, meow, place, playful
Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

0

2 months ago

activity, after, afterlife, belief, burial, buried, chest, fun, hands, humor, life, over, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide
Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

0

4 months ago

advice, dating, future, future husband, humor, husband, just, move, move on, never, relationship, say
As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

0

2 months ago

actually, bag, cleaning, decluttering, event, free, free t-shirt, friendly, humor, items, need, reminder, room, t-shirt, tote, tote bag, unnecessary, unnecessary items
I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

0

2 months ago

activity, casual, casual activity, food, going, goodbye, guess, humor, i, just, swimming

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

55 shares on X this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

92 shares on X this month:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Going viral on TikTok:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Just shared via X:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Making waves on Telegram:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Just landed via Telegram:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨