Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Just shared via Messenger:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Just shared via WeChat:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Going viral on Slack:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Making waves on X:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about confusing diet terms and feeling outdated, humorous and playful tone.

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Commentary:
Oops, my bad! I guess it's time to upgrade my vocabulary software from the 1900s 📟 ➡️ 🤖 #VintageProblems #OldSchoolCharm 😂🍏

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss

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13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Just shared via Threads:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Trending via TikTok:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Going viral on X:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Going viral on X:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Spotted on Slack:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Making waves on X:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨