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Commentary:
😂🐾 "When I stand, my dog thinks I'm a superhero on the move! Only problem is, the biggest 'mission' I embark on is finding the TV remote. 🦸‍♂️📺"

confidence, daily, daily life, dog, enthusiasm, every, excited, excitement, happen, hell, humor, i, life, man, masculinity, moment, motivation, pet, real, shit, stand, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

0

2 months ago

Canada, Canadian, Canadian Thanksgiving, day, every, everything, food, gravy, holiday, humor, put, same, Thanksgiving, tradition, us
I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

0

2 months ago

actors, comedy, feelings, fun, humor, i, kissing, movie, reaction, romantic, said, strong, subtitles, surprise, unexpected, while
Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

0

2 months ago

broke, greeting, heart, heartbreak, humor, know, name, relationship
The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

0

3 weeks ago

humor, internet, irony, making, me, people, self-awareness, stupid, stupidity
I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

0

2 months ago

animal, eagle, food, humor, i, me, pet, sandwich, steal, training, want
The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

0

2 months ago

annoying, annoying child, child, family, house, household, humor, jokes, mother-in-law, parenting, relationships

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

40 shares on X this month:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Seen just now on X:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Breaking via Twitch:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Going viral on WeChat:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨