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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Trending via Telegram:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Just landed via WeChat:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Live now on YouTube:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Making waves on YouTube:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Trending via WeChat:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Seen just now on Slack:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When fake laughter workouts become part of the job description 🤣💼🤦‍♂️

alone, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, life, me, mental, mental exhaustion, mentally, office, office life, please, social, social interaction, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

0

2 months ago

creativity, humor, individuality, inspiration, nonsense, positivity, wish, world
The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

0

2 months ago

accident, awkward, awkward situation, bender, car, car accident, driver, driver interaction, fender, fender bender, having, interaction, meet, meeting, new, new person, person, situation, worst
My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drugs, education, humor, kids, lecture, mix, mixing, parenting, proper, school, still, today, youngest
Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, chin, humor, life, life stage, self-deprecation, stage, welcome
If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

0

2 months ago

attitude, audacity, days, generation, humor, kids, perfume, sarcasm, youth
Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

0

2 months ago

20, brain, brains, clue, email, every, forget, forgetfulness, Funny, got, humor, i, irony, memory, password, remember, song, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

84 shares on Discord this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

52 shares on Discord this month:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Broadcasted on X:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Making waves on Telegram:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Breaking via Discord:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Just shared via Discord:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Just landed via Threads:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Going bananas on Reddit:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Making waves on Facebook:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨