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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Trending via X:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Just shared via Threads:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Spotted on TikTok:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Just shared via WeChat:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Reported on Pinterest:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Trending via Snapchat:

You can reach me by butterfly.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Making waves on WeChat:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Going viral on Discord:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Just shared via Messenger:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Just shared via Slack:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

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