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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,809

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Just shared via Slack:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Making waves on Telegram:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Breaking via Reddit:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Just landed via Facebook:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Making waves on Telegram:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Going viral on Slack:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Funny animal comparison quotes

Funny animal comparison quotes 🐶🐱 bring a hilarious twist to everyday moments, turning us into clever creatures with a splash of wit 🦄😂. Whether you’re feeling as sly as a fox or as stubborn as a mule, these playful sayings add a dose of laughter and relatability to life’s wild side 🐒🎉. Get ready to giggle and see yourself through the animal kingdom’s funniest lens! 🐸💬

New funny animal comparison quotes 👇

All funny animal comparison quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

15 shares on Discord this month:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

100 shares on YouTube this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,993

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Trending via Snapchat:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Breaking via Discord:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Trending via Instagram:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

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