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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Making waves on X:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Seen just now on X:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Making waves on Telegram:

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

Trending via Pinterest:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Funny autonomy quotes

Funny autonomy quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of independence and doing things your own way 😎💥 Whether you’re a rebel at heart or just love a good laugh about freedom, these witty lines will have you nodding and chuckling 😂✨ Embrace the joy of self-rule with a smile and maybe even share a few with your squad! 🎉🙌 #OwnIt #FreedomFunnies

New funny autonomy quotes 👇

All funny autonomy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dance like China isn’t watching.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Just landed via TikTok:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Trending via Pinterest:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Spotted on Discord:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Seen just now on Discord:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

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