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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Just shared via YouTube:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Going viral on Threads:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Just landed via Instagram:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Funny blinds quotes

New funny blinds quotes 👇

21 hours ago
Share →: People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Commentary:
Are you part vampire, conserving your strength for when in-flight drinks served? 🧛‍♂️✈️🔋
2 months ago
Share →: Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Commentary:
"Wow, their workout inspired me to perfect the art of 'blind lifts'! 😂🏋️‍♂️🚪"

For even more funny blinds quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny blinds quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

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Funny blinds quotes

New funny blinds quotes 👇

For even more funny blinds quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny blinds quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

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