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Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

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Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

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Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

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My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

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“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

14,923

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Updated

Dec 12, 2025

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Seen just now on Discord:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Making waves on Reddit:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Just landed via YouTube:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Live now on Twitch:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Spotted on Instagram:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Home » Funny Closer Quotes » Page 2

13 Funny closer quotes

More funny closer quotes 👇

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

4 months ago
closer, connection, distance, friend, friendship, Funny, humor, important, life, lived, meet, meeting, nicer, online, online friend, someone
Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

4 months ago
analogy, closer, end, faster, humor, life, paper, roll, time, toilet, toilet paper
I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

5 months ago
closer, dating, death, humor, love, relationship, sarcasm, stable

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Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

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I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

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Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

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Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

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Spreading quickly via Slack:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Spotted on Threads:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Just shared via Discord:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Trending via Telegram:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

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13 Funny closer quotes

More funny closer quotes 👇

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

All funny closer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

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Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

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