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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Making waves on X:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Making waves on WeChat:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Breaking via WeChat:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Spotted on TikTok:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Trending via Pinterest:

All I think about is death and sex.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Just landed via YouTube:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Funny cold weather quotes

Funny cold weather quotes ❄️🥶 are the perfect way to warm up your day with a little laughter! When the chill has you shivering and the frost bites your nose, a clever joke or witty line can turn those icy moments into pure fun. Ready to cozy up with some humor that’s cooler than the weather itself? Let’s dive into the frosty fun and melt away the winter blues! ⛄😂

New funny cold weather quotes 👇

All funny cold weather quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Aura is the real business card.

54 shares on X this month:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Going viral on X:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Just landed via TikTok:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Spotted on TikTok:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Making waves on YouTube:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

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