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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has copied:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has shared:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has shared:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has viewed:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Messenger:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Seen just now on X:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Going viral on Reddit:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, β€œI’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Just landed via Facebook:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Funny columns quotes

Funny columns quotes bring a sprinkle of humor to your day, turning ordinary words into laughter-packed moments πŸ˜‚βœ¨ Perfect for brightening up your feed or adding a witty twist to any conversation! Whether you’re a fan of clever wordplay or cheeky observations, these gems will have you chuckling in no time πŸ€£πŸ’¬ Get ready to smile, share, and spread the fun!

New funny columns quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny columns quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

55 shares on Discord this month:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

28 shares on Slack this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has copied:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Facebook:

β€œI asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Spotted on Threads:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Spotted on Messenger:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Shared recently on X:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Just landed via Facebook:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

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