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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Shared recently on Instagram:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Spotted on X:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Just shared via Telegram:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Spreading quickly via X:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Just shared via Threads:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Spotted on Instagram:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Just shared via Slack:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Trending via Snapchat:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Shared recently on TikTok:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

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